Should you do a First Look on your Wedding Day?
Dani T Photography | Finger Lakes Wedding Photographers | First Look on your Wedding Day
We’ve all seen articles on first looks, the pros, the cons, should or shouldn’t you…now it’s my turn to chime in. To be honest I am talking about first looks today because I am just a little selfish, but mostly because I want couples to have the best and most memorable wedding day ever! I love first looks. I love the little moments, the anticipation, all of it. I might be addicted. So let’s dive in, let’s talk about all the benefits, and how incorporating a first look into your wedding day may be the best choice for you as couple!
WHAT IS A FIRST LOOK?
You may be thinking this, what even is a first look? Why on earth would this be something we want to do? Well, lemme tell ya! A first look is where the couple see’s each other prior to the wedding ceremony. Now now, before you jump into the whole “ That breaks tradition!” “ Our families would never let us do that!” hear me out about some of the amazing benefits about having a first look with each other.
This new tradition of seeing each other before the ceremony is becoming more and more popular among wedding couples for a variety of reasons. I have been photographing weddings now for almost 9 years, I am continuing to find that when a first look is incorporated into the wedding day timeline, things tend to go much smoother, less rushed and and less stressful. With that being said, I am a photographer, SO this blog may be a just a teeny bit biased in the fact that I am prioritizing your time for photography. I do however want ensure that even if a first look is not done a wedding day, the timeline will go as smooth as possible and I ensure that my clients are always NO. 1. I have photography plenty of weddings without a first look, and I can make totally make it work! So read on and consider what is best for you!
“The most memorable moment was the feeling I had walking towards Mike, not when I was walking down the aisle, but when it was him and I on the pier and his back was to me. I was so nervous for him to see me I felt like I wanted to vomit, but I also couldn’t stop smiling. I know a lot of people like to see the groom’s face when the bride walks down, but I was so happy that I got to have that moment with him.” – Kaitlyn
1. IT IS ACTUALLY MORE INTIMATE THAN YOU THINK!
YEP. You read that right. First looks are some of the most emotional moments I’ve ever photographed on wedding day. It’s a simple 10 minutes between you and your partner, that you have all to yourselves. Just the two of you all day. Bonus factor? There’s no pressure from anyone while walking down the aisle!
As Photographers, we step back, use a longer lens to let these moments unfold naturally. There is 100% less stress on either one you to let those tears out, kiss, snuggle and just soak it all in that the two of you are getting married! It’s your wedding day! There is absolutely NO PRESSURE from anyone while you walk towards your partner and they see you. There isn’t 100+ people anticipating the tears..and if there are some tears, not to worry, I’ve got extra tissues with me. Now, there are times when couples invite parents, or the wedding party to be part of the first look, and that is totally up to you! We position them so they can watch it all unfold, but far enough away that these mores are still just about the two of you. You can invite anyone you’d like or just keep it between you both.
2. YOU GET TO SPEND MOST OF THE DAY TOGETHER!
You’ve spent a long time planning for this day. You’ve picked out center pieces, and outfits, invited those who are closest to you, and it all goes by so quickly. I mean, snap your fingers after the ceremony and we already doing the last dance fast! So why would you NOT want to spend as much time as you with each other, on a day that you’ve waited so long for. When a first look is incorporated into your timeline, you get to spend more than just 5 hours at the reception with each on your wedding day! As a couples you get to see each other most of the day, without worrying about being around all your guests the entire time. Ya know that cocktail hour you paid for? Yep, you get to attend that too and see everyone who came from far and wide to spend your wedding day with you longer.
“I’m so glad we did a first look for our wedding. I have been in several of my friends’ weddings and none of them did a first look, and the wedding party spent the majority of our time after the ceremony taking pictures. I knew for my own day, I wanted to be able to spend as much time as possible with all of our family and friends after the ceremony, and taking pictures before the ceremony allowed us to enjoy our cocktail hour.
We chose to do our first look at Sonnenberg Gardens, and it was such a dreamy setting! I’ll never forget how excited but also nervous I was to see my soon-to-be husband on the bridge of the Japanese Garden. Once he turned around, it was such a beautiful and intimate moment, and all of my nerves instantly melted away. Our first look pictures are some of my absolute favorite pictures that Dani captured for us, and I loved having that time where we could focus on enjoying one a other on a day that goes by far too quickly. “ – Amanda + Justin
3. IT HELPS CALMS YOUR NERVES !
If you are the type of person who hates being in front of a large crowd, or someone whose anxiety peaks at the idea of being the center of attention, a first look is another great option for you. I have found that most clients tend to incredibly nervous before the ceremony, and those that thought they wouldn’t? Well suddenly they are freaked out too about walking down the aisle and downing another mimosa!
Your wedding day is probably one of the most important days of your relationship with the ONE person who can calm you down like no one else. Doing a first look can get all that internal stress that builds up, out of the way. I have seen it over and over, that once your partner turns around and sees you all that stress just disappears and the rest of the day is easy peasy.
4. THE EMOTIONS ARE STILL ALL THERE!
I hear a lot from couples that the most anticipated event of the day is a seeing each other at the end of the aisle. You’ve dreamed about that moment for years, but what if it happens and it just doesn’t end up as emotional as you had wanted? Now, don’t get me wrong, I have seen some breathtaking moments happen while walking down the aisle, but at the same time I have seen even better moments happen when a first look is involved. You imagine seeing your partner for the first time and him/her crying their eyes out in front of your guests..here’s the deal..most of the time they still do. I’ve seen tears during a first look, and while you are walking down the aisle, both are just as emotional and special in their own way.
“If I’m being honest, most of the wedding day decisions were made by Nikki. She ran the idea of a first look by me and I loved it because I knew the nerves of the ceremony might make an otherwise intimate moment a bit hectic.
I was so anxious to see Nikki for the first time, but I knew it would be amazing no matter what. I always think she’s beautiful, even in her sweats, but nothing could have prepared me for how she looked that day, in that dress, in that place. I was so thankful we did a first look in that moment because I was able to see her in that perfection before anyone else and it instantly confirmed every reason we were there that day. And I love being able to look back at the pictures Dani captured of the moment and relive it.” – Frank
5.MORE TIME FOR PICTURES!
Photography is a huge investment, for some people it is one of the most important investments on your wedding day. I have said this over and over again, when the flowers are gone, and your clothes are put back in the closet, your images are all you have left of your wedding day. Why not take full advantage of the time you booked me for and fill as much time as we can capturing moments together? Instead of feeling rushed and trying to smoosh all your portraits into 1 hour after the ceremony, we can get all this done and can be ahead of the game.
Also, think about it from a timeline perspective, would you rather have a few hours of picture time spread out across the day? Or 15 minutes of good light to work with? Now, you all know I LOVE me some good golden light and I ensure we have time together during the end of the evening for those shots. With a first look, we can spread our time together for couples shots throughout the day, getting a little done in the morning, a little after the ceremony, sunset and ending the evening with night shots. By getting the majority of the pictures out of the way pre-ceremony, you can enjoy more time with family & friends and it offers us a little more cushion if things are running behind. BONUS! When most of the pictures are done before the ceremony, there are more opportunities for multiple locations, giving us ample driving time for even more unique spots for pictures on your wedding day.
Time and time again, clients have thanked me after their wedding for talking to them about a first look and figuring out what works best for them and their timeline. If there is any sense that a first look is not for you, that is OKAY! I have photographed plenty of weddings without one, and I can totally make that work! I want each of my couples to be able to be present on their wedding day as much as possible. A first look gives you the flexibility to be able to do just that, and make your day just as perfect as you imagined.
<3 Dani
What more clients are saying about their experience with First Looks!
“When we were going over our wedding plans with Dani she asked if we were wanting to do a first look. Like many couples, we had the questions of how does it work, what will our family think, will it ruin the walk down the aisle moment, etc. After talking it over, we decided we wanted to go ahead with the first look, and we are so glad we did!
Of course you’re nervous the morning of your wedding. For me, my husband is my rock and just being with him brings me a sense of serenity – like no one else can. We have been inseparable for over a decade, so getting that extra time together to enjoy some special moments, enjoy each other’s company, and shed a few tears, before the craziness began was well worth it. It also allowed for extra photos of the two of us and with our bridal party so we didn’t have to leave the reception for as long later. That meant more time for dancing!
It also didn’t ruin the special moment of him seeing me walk down the aisle. He may have already seen me in my dress, but it didn’t change the fact that I was walking down the aisle to marry him and he still got teary eyed (what every bride wants!). I am so glad Dani recommended a first look, and I would do it all over again and not change a thing!”
-Brittany +Josh
“I decided I wanted to do a first look for a couple of reasons, but the main reason was to share an intimate moment with Frank before the excitement and nervousness that hits at ceremony time. I was afraid that without a first look we both would miss out on that moment that was just about us and our day. I am so thankful we decided to have that moment, and I’m even more grateful that Dani was there to capture it!
I can remember walking around the back of the house that we were having our wedding at after getting ready with my bridesmaids, my mother and nieces; Frank was waiting on the side of the house hidden away from our arriving guests. I wasn’t so much nervous for Frank to see me for the first time, but excited because it really felt like the beginning of our celebration together. I don’t know if it’s vain to say, but I felt like I had found the perfect dress, the perfect venue, the perfect man and I was about to have the perfect moment, and it did not disappoint. I will never forget the huge smile on Frank’s face or the joy and calm I felt rush over me when Frank turned to face me that day.” – Nikki
“To start with, I have to give a little back story and I have to be honest…I went into my wedding planning being against First Looks. I thought it was against tradition and would ruin the ceremony or that special moment that “was supposed to happen”. When I told Dani this, being the lovely considerate human that she is, she did not straight off try to sway me, but instead said she would give me two timelines with and without a first look. After doing so during our first meeting she explained to me the benefits of a first look. One, I would still get that special moment of my fiance seeing me- it would just be in a different setting. Two, We would get to have alone time- which was critical because at a certain point the wedding becomes about you with your guests and the party, not just the two of you. Finally, and probably the most important thing for me personally- this private moment would ease my anxiety by giving me critical time with my best friend to calm and center me- it would be a time to just be together and just be us. Needless to say, I was sold. It resonated with me, and it made sense so we moved ahead with it.
Having a first look was one of the best choices we made for our wedding. Some of our best photos came from that moment, and I will never forget the feeling of anticipation when I was standing behind my husband to be, waiting for him to turn around. Likewise I will never forget that moment when we saw each other. It was like no one else existed in the world except the two of us. We got to hug, kiss, and fawn over one other before we got swept into the rest of the wedding. And we still got to have an “audience” because our closest friends were watching us from afar- they would also agree it was a special moment that touched everyone. It was a moment I had never considered before for my wedding, but one that I’m so incredibly glad we had.
By having a first look you get a private special moment…the calm before the beautiful storm…and then when that calm is over? It’s time to get married and time to party” – Danielle + Andy
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